Vent

By Nigel Smith. Ben has survived a crippling brain lesion, but he won't engage with the world around him, preferring to stay safely in his own fantasy world. A funny and moving drama about not being dead.

Many thanks to Dick L for contributions to this page.

The Drama version of this comedy is available on Page 59

Series 1
01. Wake Me Up Before You Go-go. Ben is in a coma. Mary and Mum wonder whether some of Ben's favourite music will wake him up, while his own thoughts are occupied with visions of Sue Lawley, Robbie Williams and an unconventional seduction technique.
02. Don't Bet On It. As Ben lies on a ventilator in hospital, Mary and Mum put the racing on to try to bring him out of his coma. It doesn't work, but Ben does somehow seem to have developed a knack for predicting the winners, if only he could think of a way of telling anyone. Meanwhile John Dee, Queen Elizabeth I's own fortune teller, appears in Ben's brain with some unhelpful observations about what the future might hold.
03. Wouldn't You Like To Get Away. Mary and Mum have a break when Ben's unconscious body gets driven to a medical conference in Birmingham. But they can't quite bring themselves to break their routine and leave the hospital. Meanwhile, Ben's mind also takes a trip. Unfortunately, it's a trip back to the hotel in Paris where he had the most miserable night of his life.
04. Switching Off - 1. Ben's doctors wonder if lying in a coma might be making him depressed, and they send in the hospital psychiatrist to see him. This has a surprising effect on Ben, Mary and Mum. Meanwhile ben's unconscious mind takes him back to his previous experience of therapy - having a row with mary about their marriage guidance counsellor.
05. Gravity Gets You Down. Ben's physiotherapy seems to be working miracles when he gets far enough out of his coma to punch his physiotherapist. And what are a tough-as-nails agent, a giant winged angel and Elvis doing in his unconscious mind? Comatose Ben punches his physiotherapist - while Elvis drops in on his unconscious mind.
06. Switching Off - 2. As he lies unconscious in Intensive Care, Ben's mind takes him on his most difficult journey yet, through the landscape of his own chaotic brain, which looks suspiciously like Mordor. Comatose Ben journeys across his brain's landscape - reminding him of Tolkien's Mordor.

Series 2
01. Mary's Girl Child. Ben's quest for a reason for his illness leads to a package tour through the Bible and a hard-hitting interview by Jeremy Paxman with God.
02. Things To Do Before You Die. Mary and Mum have bought Ben a lifestyle magazine. Meanwhile in his unconscious mind, Blitz takes Ben back to 1973 and finds him a life coach with a rather unusual motivational technique.
03. I Want You. Ben is heading for a compromising situation with a scantily-clad fellow patient. Is his life turning into a farce? Why is he in a strangely familiar hotel in 1970s Torquay and just what really happened with Andrea and the extra virgin olive oil?
04. Wednesday Morning At 3am. As Ben lies in bed in ITU in the small hours, his thoughts start to wander, as do everyone else's.
05. Alternatives. As Ben wonders how to make sense of his coma, Blitz suggests he might need the help of a script doctor. But if his life really were like a Hollywood film, would he really like the way it ended? And who would play which part?
06.  Arrival. Everyone is faced with decisions. Should the doctors try a last-ditch treatment to bring Ben round? And is he ready to leave the safety of his unconscious fantasy with Blitz and face up to the grim reality of pain and disability?

Series 3
01. Ladies And Gentlemen, We Are Floating In Space. Ben makes the ambulance journey home to begin life in a wheelchair. On the way he remembers an argument about cheesecake, invents a panel game and meets Buzz Aldrin.
02. Loneliness Is A Crowded Head. Life outside hospital is a little fraught for Ben. Luckily he finds an island refuge. Ben's life is full of well-meaning people trying to do everything for him. Everything, that is, except leave him alone. He begins to wonder if Robinson Crusoe might have been on to a good thing.
03. Stirrings In The Night. Ben and Mary's love life needs help; luckily Blitz has found Lord Byron to offer some useful tips. Meanwhile, mum dismantles a toad in the hole in case it gets in the way of romance.
04. Victoria. Ben is beginning to resent being pushed around. He imagines a different life back in Victorian times when he might have got things his own way a bit more often - until he gets into an argument with Benjamin Disraeli.
05. When Was The Last Time You Saw Your Godfather? Ben is invited to be godfather to an ex-girlfriend's baby. Mary isn't impressed and there's a showdown on the stairlift. Meanwhile St Paul gives Ben tips on responsibility and where to get the best olives.
06. The Stand-in. Ben stages a sit-in at the post office. Meanwhile a shiny new Ben is trying to write him out of his own life.